Wow, I hate to say this, but I’ve actually been extremely busy lately. Between trying to keep this updated & working on my Deviant Art gallery I’ve totally neglected my art blog & the game review website I’m trying to do with my friend Joel. I haven’t even gotten in some really good gaming time in the last week. Kind of depressing, but when you have this much shit on your plate I guess that’s what you can expect.
I’m rather proud of myself though. I never thought I’d do some of the things I have and while I’m no professional model by any means I gave it my all and it turned out remotely well. I’m still pessimistic about some of the shots I put on DA, but hell you can’t expect too much from a wanna-be pin up who lives in a small house & has to use the timer on her camera to take most of her pictures. Feel free to check it out. I should put a warning on it, but I’m guessing 90% of the people on here are adults and can understand what the word “pin up” includes as far as the picture spectrum goes.
While doing all of this in the back of my head I’ve been super worried. The count down to when my friend Joel moves here is getting extremely close and we have yet to secure them a house or even get through filling out the job application. It makes me extremely nervous to think he won’t have a job when he gets here or a house. We are two couples of extremely unorganized people. Not a good mix for any sort of thing especially moving.
After a great suggestion from a random person I downloaded a comic called “Hellblazer” and I must say I’m not at all disappointed. I’m barely half way through the first issue and I’m already deeply fascinated by the main character John Constantine. Then again it had to be expected since I’ve always dug a guy with an accent…even if it is basically all in my head. It’s your basic horror comic with what seems like a little paranormal thrown in. Between dealing with Joe & Sammy, trying to help my friend Joel find a place around here & dealing with him a little escape to a different universe is always welcomed and even more so when said universe includes nasty demon bugs.
Since I brought it up…I’ve noticed that having a child is very similar to getting a puppy who eventually learns to talk and walk upright. I don’t say this to be mean or cruel it’s simply the best thing I could relate being a parent to. I mean if you take out the whole birth thing you have a small being which you have to potty train, feed, give attention, make sure they don’t kill themselves on accident, and teach them how to be at least semi-self sufficient. You hope that eventually you can leave them at home with out them peeing on the carpet or doing something that might cause the house to set on fire. I’ll be happy when Sammy stops thinking she can magically phase through walls/doors.
As for the nonsense with Joel, well, it’s a little confusing. I love playing video games with him , but I’m not exactly a quiet or friendly gamer. I cuss frequently, accidentally team (no sarcasm intended), and often enjoy trash talking. I don’t know if I’m somehow making him feel like shit while were gaming or if my attitude is just too much to handle compared to how I am normally, but it doesn’t seem to be going well. I could be over thinking things, but usually when I get the whole “doom doomy doom” feeling it’s dead on. Maybe the idea of moving here doesn’t seem so great anymore? Maybe he thinks he’d be better off somewhere else? I’m not really too sure, but if that’s the case I’d hope he’d tell me. Who knows, I’m probably just being my regular ole paranoid self, maybe it’s all in my head. I sure as fuck hope so.
Life really likes to flip me on my ass sometimes. Paranoia surges, anxiety, crazy spurts of energy. I swear, if I’m pregnant again I’m going to slap a nun. I’m more than likely not (thanks to a wonderful thing kids seem to forget exists called “birth control”), but that would be my paranoia talking.
The anxiety steams from my best friend Joel considering moving here. That’s a MEGA decision. I’ve been told there’s a job lined up for him (thanks to Joe) and Joe and I both are looking into houses for his family to turn into their lair. It just worries my because that’s my friend. My best friend. I don’t want to fuck him over. Ever. Even on accident. I also don’t want him to get here and realize “Wow, she’s annoying” or “Wow, this was a giant mistake“. What’s worse then never hanging out with your best friend? Hanging out with your best friend, said best friend moves to your city, hangs out, gets disgruntled, leaves forever. Not cool.
I don’t know where I first heard/saw that phrase, but it has stuck with me ever since. It means basically nothing, but in my weird little mind it fits the situation of which I’m currently blogging.
Have you ever gotten your hopes up over talking to/meeting someone (a celebrity, a blind date, a new friend) and then found out that while your interests may be totally similar, you just don’t quiet fit. At all. Ever. Not even in another dimension? Yeah. I had something like that happen just a few hours ago. I’ve been “friend-surfing” on the internet because, well, lets face it folks: Bat Girl is one lonely bastard in the friends department. A jaded, bitter, lonely bastard even. I added him on MSN and proceeded to be owned by how cocky and totally boring he was. I’m sure he thought the same thing because when I’m not interested I’m pretty lame. I guess hoping for a side-kick before I turn 20 is a little much to ask.
As mentioned in the previous entry, tonight is my last night to spend time with my Xbox. I know I’ll miss her when I’m gone and she better still be here when I get back or there shall be hell to pay! I guess this is where I should put something saying “Hiatus”, but instead I’m just going to end it here by saying…
SUCK IT, BBL.
People use the word “friend” just like they use the word “love“. Neither means anything. The word friend, in my mind has boiled down to a lesser noun such as “acquaintance“. And what has replaced the “friend“? Side-kick!
I came to realization last night that what I’ve been considering side-kicks have been quiet the opposite. I fear I have been used as the “back up friend“. You know, the friend no one likes to talk to, hang out with, or be around unless there main friend(s) are pissed off at them or becoming slightly annoying. I’m pretty sure I’ve always been “that girl“. I’m okay with it. I know I’m weird, awkward, and basically a creep on most topics. I just don’t gel well with humanity. I’m cool with that.
So I start my search for my side-kick once again (it’s been going on since about 7th or 8th grade when I realized people often have one perfect match for them in this world). My chances of finding someone even remotely interested in all the things I love and not wanting just to get into my pants are extremely slim (so slim in-fact that I often wonder if my side-kick got hit by a bus or was mauled by rabid polar bears before I got the chance to meet him/her), but I’m willing to try. I have no idea where the hell to even start, but wish me luck anyways!
UPDATE: I changed a few minor things on my site & stole the comment look from Angie’s site because I thought it was so awesome. (forgive me?!) More minor changes will be thrown in here and then so look around and tell me what you think.
batz. bat girl. frankie. nerdy & proud. gamer girl. mom. batman obsessed. horror lover. serial killer enthusiast. huge fan of spell check, cookie dough ice cream w/ butterscotch syrup & round rainbow sprinkles, & thunderstorms. nervous & paranoid. dislikes load noises, liars, & brightly lit places.
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